The psychology behind DO YOUby authorised psychologist Marie Brixtofte
Two words. Five letters. One consonant and four vowels. It doesn’t sound like much. And yet it’s almost everything.
I have not yet met a single client who had a good relationship with themself when we started therapy. Many had no relationship with themselves and asked with a confused expression what I meant by, "how good is your relationship with yourself?". The rest answered "bad", "I hate myself", "I am so dissatisfied with myself" and so on. And then the therapeutic work began. Actually, what is more important than having a good relationship with yourself?
In our culture, most of us forget that we should also have a relationship - and a good relationship - with ourselves. YOU are the only human being that you are together with 24/7, from the second you are born until the second you die. When you are home alone, you are actually in your own company. When your inner critic shouts that you are fat, stupid or completely spineless, then you are bullying yourself. You are actually your own Siamese twin.
The journal ‘Science’ conducted a thought-provoking experiment:
Participants were asked to choose between either being alone for 6 to 15 minutes in a room with nothing but a chair; no windows, no pictures, no TV and no telephone - or - to give oneself electric shock. 25 percent of all women and 67 percent of all men felt it was so uncomfortable to be alone with themselves that they chose to give themselves electric shocks. T.D. Wilson et al. “Just Think: The Challenges of the Disengaged Mind”, Science, 345 (2014), pp. 75-77.