Habits – the good, the bad, and the ones we haven’t yet created

Habits are everything! They shape our everyday lives and our health more than we may think about. After extensive health tests, founder Mette Skjærbæk had to have a closer look at her habits — and her bad habits. With a simple but effective method, she slowly began to turn the “big container ship”: her life.

Rainer Maria Rilke writes in Duino Elegies:

”...so we are left with, say, some tree on a hillside – one that we see every day; we are left with yesterday’s stroll and the pampered loyalty of an old habit that liked us so much it decided to stay, and never left…”

That line – “The pampered loyalty of an old habit that liked us so much it decided to stay and never left us again” – has stayed with me ever since I bought the book in New York in the 1990s.

Habits are everything! They are what, in the end, shape how our daily lives unfold — and our health. The good habits, the bad ones, and the ones we haven’t yet managed to create.

2025 became the year when I had to take a close look at my habits. I have many good ones: my daily dry brushing, my (almost) daily blends of nourishing smoothies. I brush my teeth. I remember to straighten my back and engage my core. I lift consciously, with respect for my body, when carrying heavy things. I cleanse my skin every evening and nourish it daily. I drink green tea. I prioritise seeing friends and family, laughing, and loving. I focus on eating a varied diet, staying hydrated, moving my body, getting daylight, and going to the dentist regularly — the list of good habits is long.

But – there’s often a “but” – there are also the bad habits. The sleep I meant to catch, ran off ahead of me. Supplements I forgot to take regularly. Lack of cardio training for my heart and, perhaps most importantly, lack of mental rest.

Extensive genetic and DNA-based health tests in spring 2025 revealed that my mind lacked recovery, both during the day and at night, in the vital restorative sleep.

I shed a tear sitting in my car after getting the “verdict” because, unfortunately, every word the practitioner had said made sense. I could see that the seven hours of sleep I aimed for rarely became a full seven hours. I could see that I never gave myself mental breaks during the day. I often multitask: driving, whilst having a phone meeting, and eating a sandwich. I knew I wasn’t taking vitamin D, which I’m deficient in, and so on.

Sometimes it takes a shock to wake us humans up. I was certainly woken up properly. I spent a lot of time reflecting on what I should do – after all, I had been told before that I lacked vitamin D, so why hadn’t I been consistent in taking this important vitamin? And how could I make all the changes in my life and stick with them?

Many books have been written about how best to change habits. I haven’t read them, but I know there are plenty of good ”hacks”, for example "habit stacking" – linking one action to another: before you brush your teeth, cleanse your skin first – could be one, so that things connect.

But I know myself and the number of times I’ve promised myself to both brush my teeth and floss every day, and how quickly the floss is forgotten anyway. At my house, the ”strict boss lady” had to step in, along with some kind of overview.

I like spreadsheets. Something in me wants to fill them in. 

In the spring, I made an Excel sheet: the horizontal rows with all the days of the coming months, and the vertical columns with the activities I wanted to make sure I did.

- Sleep – in bed by 10 p.m. at the latest – a minimum of 8-9 hours
- Meditation practice – 15 minutes daily
- Supplements – daily
- Movement – different types of exercise – weekly 
- Alcohol – record the number of drinks weekly

The list goes on…

Over the summer, the spreadsheet became my ”bible”, and the checkmarks had to be made every day, otherwise the strict boss lady was not pleased. There was a bit of gamification to it – in a good way. 

Instead of a spreadsheet, you can also use a paper monthly calendar, a nice notebook you can keep on the kitchen counter or bedside table, a digital habit tracker app that sends reminders… Whatever works for you.

I also bought a ”smart ring”, which gave me insight into many different elements. Smart rings aren’t 100% reliable, but I must say it hit me quite precisely:

”You had an elevated heart rate last night – did you drink alcohol yesterday evening?”
– Uh, yes, I did. Wow. No hiding here!

”Your sleep latency was long yesterday”
- Argh, yes – I was on a screen right up until I closed my eyes, and apparently it took longer than usual before I properly fell asleep.

And especially in relation to the 4 stages – recovery, relaxed, energetic and stressed – I learned a lot about how different activities are experienced by my body. My mind. 

Our appearance says a lot about many things, and because I look healthy and work with physical and mental health through my work and my interests, there were also several people around me who ”pushed back a little”... ”Oh, darling! But you’re so healthy” was something I heard several times, and perhaps I do look healthy. But we cannot see each other’s mental health or everything that goes on inside us.

They say that stress is the new killer, and even though I didn’t feel stressed and am a happy and content person, it doesn’t change the fact that we humans need rest and recovery as a counterbalance to being switched on. I have a high energy level and an excellent ability to push my own limits, so that ”I’m tired” doesn’t really mean anything to me once I’ve set my mind on something – and I usually have.

I describe my process as turning a huge container ship – it takes time. A long time. For me, it took several months. I was less social and spent more time with myself.

When I first learned that I wasn’t sleeping well, I suddenly started sleeping even worse. I woke up several times a night, worrying about whether I’d be able to fall back asleep - which, of course, made it harder. Our minds are so impressionable, and what we ”tell ourselves” matters, because the soul listens.

Now it’s winter, and I’m in a completely different place than I was in the spring. I sleep more, drink less, take my supplements, take better care of myself, notice my boundaries and say no.

I practise meditation almost every day, and it feels like balm for the brain. Ironically, I have only started now, even though I am a trained yoga instructor and have always worked with holistic health. But the things we find hardest are often the ones we avoid.

I used to tell myself that a walk by the sea counted as meditation, but my brain was still overactive, busy, problem-solving. On the days I don’t meditate, my brain can feel a bit ”fried”, and I long for the calm that just 15 minutes of ”switching off” my thoughts brings. The thoughts still come, but far fewer of them.

I take my vitamins every day. Here, I made a system with 30-day packs in small bags that I reuse again and again. Now the bag is ready and sits next to my blender, where I can see it. That’s how I get my vitamins every day. What it took was both a system and having done it for a good few months to get my checkmark in the spreadsheet.

It’s winter, and I’ve taken off my smart ring, and I no longer fill in the spreadsheet – for now, at least. I may need both again. I have built new habits, and I am grateful for them. Now it’s about living with my new habits without monitoring, because enjoying life is more important than anything. For example, I don’t need to know the quality of my sleep every night, or need the ring to tell me whether I’ve rested in between all the activity.

The container ship is sailing in a new direction. I take better care of myself. I’m less ”strong” in a way than I was before, when I could do ”everything”, be there for everyone and never ran out of energy. I have got to know myself better at the age of 51.

That’s quite beautiful!

Everything begins with the conversation with yourself, the conversation I had the day I made the spreadsheet. What do I want to change, and how will I do it?

Are there habits you’d like to change? Or new habits you’d like to make your own? Then I wish you all the best in succeeding – and I dare to guarantee that you won’t regret it.

With love, Mette